Wow! On the 18th of this month we celebrate 19 years of marriage. That’s a long time to put up with someone. Actually, that’s a long time for him to put up with me. It’s always funny to me how so many can’t really remember the wedding day. I think there is so much stress to have the perfect wedding, but really what should be important is to have a good marriage. (not perfect-that doesn’t exist) Anyway, if anyone were to ask me our secret to making it last, I wouldn’t really know. Don’t kill each other is good advice. I know that holding a pillow over your spouse’s face at night is a bad idea, and it won’t help the snoring.
We are not terribly traditional. I like yard work and he can sew. (really) He would prefer to cook dinner, and that’s just fine by me. I remember our eldest saying how it was funny that I took her hiking through the mud and her dad took her to ballet. I’m very outdoorsy and he likes movies and computers. (I almost never can watch an entire movie) He likes airplanes, and I like cute babies and animals. (and cute baby animals) So, what do we have in common that has kept us together all these years? The Lord. The closer we get to Him, the closer we get to each other.
In the early years, we heard all kinds of advice. “Date your Mate” never really worked with small kids around. All those great Christian marriage books and seminars… we never really had time for those. Spend time in prayer together every day. Well, that’s a great idea, but he always worked goofy hours.
If I could go back and talk to my former self about marriage, I would have the same advice that Churchill (Tad’s favorite historical figure) gave. “This is the lesson: never give in, never give in, never, never, never, never—in nothing, great or small, large or petty—never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.”
Marriage is messy! Children make it even messier. The enemy is looking to attack marriages. They are one of his favorite battlefields, but if you have the Lord as the most important person in your marriage the battle quickly becomes a victory. Don’t ever give up the fight! “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” – Ecclesiastes 4:12